


To Be Loved

by lemonade_zest



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, How Do I Tag, M/M, No Beta, Oneshot, Victor with a K, viktor needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:22:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28783383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonade_zest/pseuds/lemonade_zest
Summary: Viktor reflects on love and it’s role in his life, and how Yuuri plays into it.Takes place after episode 10.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	To Be Loved

Viktor couldn’t sleep.

No, he wasn’t anxious, that was Yuuri’s job. He was obsessed with the little golden band on his ring finger. His right thumb rubbed the smooth metal unconsciously as Viktor listened to Yuuri snore softly across the room. His mind was swimming with too many thoughts, his heart full with too many emotions to calm his body down for rest. Never had he felt so complete.

Viktor wasn’t one to get overly sappy or introspective, but Yuuri Katsuki was full of surprises, and, as usual, he rocked Viktor’s world. He didn't even care if Yuuri won gold at the Grand Prix Final, even though Victor was Yuuri’s coach, he felt like Yuuri had taught him more than he had taught Yuuri. Cheesy. He knew it was cheesy, and a predictable line, too, but for once he didn’t care. Sometimes this stuff was cheesy and predictable.

Love was something Viktor had been vaguely familiar with, once upon a time. When he was a child, he had love in his life. But as soon as he had started to compete seriously, a lot of it went away, and quickly. He was so focused on his craft, which he did indeed love, but which took so much more than it gave. And maybe it was selfish to think that, with all the medals and trophies which he displayed back home, but he understood why celebrities are prone to the darkest thoughts. When you’re afraid anyone with whom you get close to just wants your attention for themselves, it’s hard to give or experience love genuinely. Even amongst fellow competitors, he had attained godlike status. 

Some might say “how dare he take his fans for granted, or his coach! Surely, they loved him!” The truth was they loved what he  _ did _ , not who he was. They loved his performance, not his person. Most of his fans were satisfied just taking commemorative photos, nothing more. Words exchanged with fans consisted of the words “I love you,” but without the meaning. At first, Yuuri was like that, too. He was a fan who “loved” him for his flawless performances. It wasn’t like Yuuri was the first one to cover a program of his, and although Yuuri’s was probably the best, that wasn’t the reason he wanted to coach him. He could tell Yuuri had poured so much love into that program, and not necessarily for Viktor. Yuuri had told him after some time that he had learned it not only because he was a fan of Viktor’s, but also because he knew his friend would enjoy it. The friend that owned the rink in Hatesu. The girl. The one whose name he was blanking on right now. Regardless, he recognized the care put into the performance, that was one of many things that attracted him to Yuuri Katsuki. 

So Yuuri was a fan at first, nervous and jumpy around Viktor when he tried to just build some sort of relationship (not necessarily romantic) between them. Yuuri avoided him so often with a burning red blush that Viktor began to doubt his decision. But then, the two finally started talking. Like normal humans. Yuuri, well he didn’t get more comfortable, per se, but he got less anxious. He was still a fan at heart, for a while, at least, but fans don’t buy their idols a ring, do they?

Up until then, Viktor hadn’t experienced such a pure expression of love in such a long time. He hadn’t given many, either, until Yuuri came along (he still couldn’t believe he kissed Yuuri on national television, yet he could definitely believe it). Yuuri, once he adapted to Viktor’s general existence in his life, was just so affectionate. Not in the blatant way that one would expect, but in the little things. It could be a squeeze of the hand or a quick smile that might be easily missed. Viktor could tell Yuuri was an emotional person, and Viktor was the opposite. He folded inward on himself, covering up his deepest feelings so no one could see them, otherwise he might compromise his perfect image. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried in front of somebody, maybe when he was still a child? He couldn’t remember the last time he had an angry outburst (Yuri Plisetsky had those at least twice a day to make up for it). He couldn’t remember the last time he expressed such outward joy… well, unless you except the kiss. That was pretty outward and pretty joyful. 

So to receive a physical object to represent Yuuri’s love for him made him want to cry, it made him want to kiss Yuuri. It made him the slightest bit scared that Yuuri could do that to him, but at the same time he didn’t care. He had no issue announcing that they were engaged in front of the people he would consider his friends. Though he wasn’t sure if it was officially an engagement… and to be quite honest, it didn’t need to be anything official, he felt the love all the same. He felt more loved than in his years and years of successful skating. He loved skating, but it wore him down, emotionally and physically. Had he competed that year, he would’ve been the oldest in competition, and his body was tired. He laughed every time Yuuri complained of his aches and pains. “Give it a few years,” he always told him with a chuckle, to which he received a sarcastic side eye. Yuuri would rebut with some sly comment about his age, and they would fall into the groove of banter, in a way which Viktor hadn’t experienced since grade school. It was the simple things, the little things. And maybe that was cheesy and predictable, but to hell with all of it. Viktor didn’t need to be a supplier of surprises anymore, Yuuri had taken over that role. 

Still fidgeting with the ring, Viktor rolled over, figuring that he should attempt to sleep. His body wanted him to, but his chest was so full of appreciation and love, he just wanted to scream it out. He suppressed the urge, lest he wake the snoring form he could hardly make out across the room.  _ Oh, woe is me _ , he thought,  _ I’ll just have to go to sleep feeling all giddy inside. How tragic. _ Content, Viktor finally settled in, willing his mind to be quiet. It didn’t quite work, but he drifted off into dreams of Yuuri, breaths slowing into a steady pace.

Oh, to be loved.


End file.
